My First Post!

Hello all!

I don't know how long Blogger will still be around, but my parents ran a blog on here when I was a kid (almost 20 years ago!!). It's always been something at the back of my mind, because I do the thing where sometimes I over explain stuff to myself for fun and then go "I bet this would make a good blog post".

There are a few projects I've done too that I've documented and have notes on with the intention of making a post about it and just never have, and I'm hoping that keeping a record of my progress on things in my life will help push me to be better and more consistent.

Plus, I'm sure someday in the future I can go back and reread my work like a strange public journal...

I suppose it would be pertinent to outline some of the goals or posts I want to make in the future.

1. The adventure I have scheduled next week in getting my cat neutered 

2. The bear drawstring bag project I did - I have so many pictures on my phone and several pages of notes for that one!

3. Basic recipes or food reference - essentially the Ultimate Expansion of my "Sammy's Safe Foods" google doc

4. Documentation/journalling of my personal sewing projects and attempts in finding and sewing more sensory - friendly clothing

5. My struggles and solutions with all sorts of sensory ailments, so I never forget the answer to make that particular nagging, horrible feeling disappear

6. Trying to seek out adventures and make new friends, not only to have good stories here but to push myself to build a better life

By the way, my cat's name is Hades, and here's what he looks like

Thank you all, imaginary viewers for reading, and hello to myself in the far flung future (hope you're doing well).

-Sam

Okay, okay, now that that's out of the way...

Here's a quick snapshot life update on what's been going on.

Number One: Car Currently Broke

I think it's just a dead battery, I had tried to start it a few days ago and it just didn't turn over. I'm planning on asking L for a jump on my weekend, and I know I could do it before work anytime but I'm too attached to my Morning Routine to interrupt it with car repair.

I only live a half mile from work anyway, it's a ten minute walk, (which is probably why my car is dead) and it's only very spooky at night walking home :) Lots of creepy people in this area of town... I'm lucky to have not run into any when I'm by myself. Though I always keep my knife and a very heavy metal water bottle on me just in case.

But on my walk to work yesterday I saw some pretty little daisies in the grass so maybe there's some silver lining.

Number Two: Car Almost Very Broke

So yeah, my moonroof is leaking again. I had fixed it once but just recently saw the headliner dripping again on my way to work. Yay.

Between the mold, probably electrical damage, glow plug needing replacement, brake light being out, and strange deposits in my engine oil last time I took it to get changed, my car is in some pretty rough shape.

I keep telling myself it's because I don't have the money (and that's true), but honestly it's more having to take it to someplace I've never been, probably by myself, have unscripted social interactions, and on top of that have to pay a bunch of money to have that experience, no thank you.

Maybe that's a good goal to work towards. Having a car that's not Almost Very Broke. 

Numero Tres: New Apartment, New Friends

Okay, okay, not new friends. I lied for the title. Sue me.

But this new place, all to myself, I get to have L and R over to play magic on the weekends whenever I want. It's super convenient they live in the same complex too, literally just around the corner. I wonder if this is how my parents felt when my aunt and uncle lived in the same complex as them too.

Keeping this new place clean (at least so far) has been really easy for me too. I find myself putting in so much more effort to keep things clean and tidy then I ever did living with other people. Like I'm not expecting it to get immediately messed up the minute I finish. 

I think that makes me a shit roommate. Oh well. Only my cat to complain about my bad habits now.

That being said, my bedroom still has all my unpacked boxes in here. I think it would literally only take a day to clear it out, I just haven't yet.

Number 4: Physical Health

Oh wow, this one has a lot of things going on. (I'm fine btw)

I have some decent insurance now that I have a full time job, but hell if I know how to use it. I'm sure I could figure it out if I tried, but it just sounds exhausting and time consuming, and for what? To have to go to new places and do unpredictable things and have unscripted conversations? And probably spend a bunch of money I don't have doing it all?

I think I'm starting to realize my problem...

Anyway, in no particular order are the things I need to do in a somewhat timely manner.

1) Schedule a yearly checkup with my doctor and get a new batch of meds prescribed.

1.2) See if the doctor I really really like even takes my new insurance...

2) Find and schedule an eye exam

I need new glasses (mine are broken and currently held together with a little help from Superglue and a screw that doesn't fit), and if I'm going to spend money on new frames I want to have an updated prescription.

Plus, getting to wear contacts again would be pretty sick.

3) Find a new pharmacy that takes my new insurance 

Even though my parents have been paying for my medication so far it's still a good idea

4) Find a dentist and schedule an appointment.

It's been a long long while since I even had a checkup up in this bad boy, it's long overdue. I even managed to chip my bottom tooth last year...

5) See how much my insurance might cover HRT

This one is definitely a shot in the dark dream...

In conclusion I guess I'm probably more profoundly disabled then I realized. Honestly though I've been doing so much better recently. I'm holding down a full time job with very little hiccups, I'm keeping my house clean and tidy, I'm not extremely suicidal every day, and I have the world at my fingertips!

Things I thought would've been impossible for me two or three years ago. Look at me go!

And look how much farther I still have...

But slowly and steadily I think I'll be able to accomplish my goals. All about exposure therapy in small manageable doses and all that.

I think my other blog posts aren't going to be this long, at least regularly. But it's good to establish a vibe at least. Or if I never post again it's a fun little snapshot of my life.

I'm bad at goodbyes.

-Sam